April Fools is a cruel joke on us all

To date, city leadership has yet to pass any major legislation to support significant changes to transform the city. Ted Egan, the city’s chief economist, believes that the likeliest scenario is that the forces of market capitalism will right the ship. Ideas such as office-to-housing conversions, for example, can’t be done quickly or at a big enough scale to make a difference, he has argued. “We need an element of modesty here,” he said. “In San Francisco, there’s a tradition of grand ambitions. And I think we need, rather than promoting a grand vision, we should … let nature take its course while not going off the rails.”

What Nelson had discovered is that LEDs are not good or bad but more like weird. The finickiness reflects the fundamental nature of the product. The LED bulb is the shape of an old lightbulb, and it fits into a lightbulb socket, and it gives off light, but it’s not so much a lightbulb as a lightbulb emulator. What it is is a computer.

A woman pulled alive from the rubble of a Pennsylvania chocolate factory after an explosion that killed seven co-workers says flames had engulfed the building, and her arm, when the floor gave way beneath her. That might have been the end, if she hadn't fallen into a vat of liquid chocolate. The dark liquid extinguished her blazing arm, but Patricia Borges wound up breaking her collarbone and both of her heels. She would spend the next nine hours screaming for help and waiting for rescue as firefighters battled the inferno and choppers thumped overhead at the R.M. Palmer Co. factory.

A San Antonio man is not expected to face charges after his car was stolen and a confrontation with the suspected thief ended in fatal gunfire on Wednesday, March 29, police said. The man's vehicle was stolen from his Northside home on Wednesday afternoon, police said. But by using an Apple AirTag, he was able to track his truck down to a shopping center on the Southeast Side in the 3200 block of Southeast Military Drive. SAPD spokesperson Nick Soliz said the man called police to report his vehicle as stolen, but did not wait for police to arrive before attempting to confront the suspected car thief around 4 p.m.

A novel type of “jumping gene” may explain why the genomes of complex cells aren’t all equally stuffed with noncoding sequences.

“(The manager) said, ‘Well, get her some assistance.’ I got her some assistance the same day,” said Jerry Finch, a friend of Bright who spoke on her behalf. “Miss Ida goes down the next day, told them ‘I got some assistance’ and (they told her) ‘I’m just gonna evict you (instead).’”

An arrest-warrant affidavit said several people were beating the driver who caused the crash, and two people were pointing guns at each other. When officers arrived, they found Shin, wounded on the east side of the street. He was pronounced dead there. Shin was the owner of Encore Family Karaoke and co-owner of the DanSungSa Korean restaurant’s Dallas location. Last week, a grand jury no-billed Kameron Taylor, 28, meaning he won’t be charged with murder in connection with Shin’s death.

“Customers’ expectations are changing, and we are moving quickly to meet and exceed their needs,” Willis said. The decision to cut staff at the Fort Worth operation “was not made lightly,” she said and the company is working with employees to help them find other jobs at Walmart.

Last March, the unnamed girl was on vacation with her parents in Costa Rica. Her parents gave her a cake as she hung out by the water. A wild iguana ran up to her, bit her finger and stole her cake.

A judge found OPP constable Jason Redmond made a video of the 2017 assault, and told people in his circle that he did it to show the victim 'how easily she could be raped when she was drunk.'

The feds just arrested wealthy Republican strategist and occasional Fox News guest Anton Lazzaro on five counts of underage sex trafficking.

“Curiously, there was never a dedicated study or discovery instigating this change and, to a large extent, it probably reflected preference for a new, ferocious-looking aesthetic rather than a shift in scientific thinking. We’re upending this popular depiction by covering their teeth with lizard-like lips. This means a lot of our favourite dinosaur depictions are incorrect, including the iconic Jurassic Park T. rex.”

After doctors drained the man's abscess, they sent him on his way with a broad-spectrum antifungal drug. He took two pills a day for 60 days and made a complete recovery, according to the report.

David “Jim” Penman wears many hats. Lawnmowing mogul, dabbler in race science, celibacy advocate – and now king. Enraged at Victorian Premier Dan Andrews’ lockdowns, Penman is creating his own country and declaring independence from Victoria. Now, we’re about as confused as you are. Lockdowns are a distant, unpleasant memory and COVID-19 restrictions are a thing of the past. But Penman still isn’t over it. Unless Andrews offers him an apology, he will be going full sovereign citizen on Saturday. “We intend to try and join Tasmania, it’s a much better state,” he said. What exactly does that mean? In Penman’s words: “We just declare independence. It’s like when the United States colonies declared independence from Britain in 1776. “If you’ve got unjust and tyrannical government, you can secede.” This was news to us. But Penman reckons there’s precedent for such strange behaviour, pointing us to Prince Leonard of Hutt River province, an eccentric Western Australian who, in a fit of rage over wheat quotas in 1970, declared himself sovereign ruler of his own “micronation”, a charade he kept up for 50 years. Penman’s plans for the nation of “Jimland” are similarly regal.

Last summer, a group of Ukrainian volunteers, working closely with their country’s intelligence service, apparently came close to persuading three Russian aviators who were in the midst of bombing Ukraine to defect with their warplanes in exchange for $1 million a piece.

On March 27, social media users reported receiving notification of Chandler's release by VINE, a custody request system that makes criminal case information available to the public. Later that day, Chandler's VINE record was updated to state she was out of custody and released by court order.

Douglass Mackey, a supporter of former president Donald Trump who used Twitter to disseminate false information to redirect would-be voters of Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election, was convicted Friday on a charge of conspiracy against rights, the Brooklyn U.S. attorney’s office announced. A federal jury issued the verdict after a week-long trial in New York. Mackey, 33, faces 10 years in prison. “Today’s verdict proves that the defendant’s fraudulent actions crossed a line into criminality and flatly rejects his cynical attempt to use the constitutional right of free speech as a shield for his scheme to subvert the ballot box and suppress the vote,” Breon Peace, the U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of New York, said in a statement. In the months leading up to the 2016 presidential election, prosecutors said Mackey used a Twitter alias with about 58,000 followers — @Ricky_Vaughn99, reportedly derived from actor Charlie Sheen’s character Ricky Vaughn in the 1989 film “Major League” — to circulate messages on Twitter that encouraged Clinton’s supporters to “vote” via text message or social media, methods that were not valid..

The Vatican on Thursday responded to Indigenous demands and formally repudiated the "Doctrine of Discovery," the theories backed by 15th-century "papal bulls" that legitimized the colonial-era seizure of Native lands and form the basis of some property laws today. A Vatican statement said the papal bulls, or decrees, "did not adequately reflect the equal dignity and rights of Indigenous peoples" and have never been considered expressions of the Catholic faith. The statement, from the Vatican's development and education offices, marked a historic recognition of the Vatican's own complicity in colonial-era abuses committed by European powers and was issued as history's first Latin American pontiff, who has made remarkable apologies to Native peoples, was hospitalized with a respiratory infection. Indigenous leaders welcomed the statement, even though it continued to take some distance from acknowledging actual Vatican culpability. The statement said the papal documents had been "manipulated" for political purposes by colonial powers "to justify immoral acts against Indigenous peoples that were carried out, at times, without opposition from ecclesial authorities."

Harvard University is holding an event to help graduate students sign up for government food assistance programs. The university’s Health Services office sent a flier to graduate students Wednesday afternoon encouraging them to come to a “SNAP Benefits Sign-Up” event on Thursday afternoon. SNAP, or the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, is the program that replaced food stamps. “Fuel your body & stock your pantry,” the flier reads. “Did you know that grad students may qualify to receive assistance paying for food & groceries?” This is notable in part because Harvard's graduate student workers have gone on strike twice in the last several years in part over their low pay from the university. It's also notable because Harvard is one of the richest academic institutions in the world, and has the largest endowment of any university in the world, with around $50 billion under management.